motivational

How to Remotivate Yourself

I am very excited today to talk about one of my favorite topics of all time, motivation. Based on the fact that I got this question twice yesterday from two separate people from two separate parts of the country means that I've got to address this. It's not just how do you motivate but how do you remotivate yourself? While there's not a true definition for the word “remotivate” let me talk you through where I think this is based off of the feedback that I had from two of the listeners.

Motivation to me is where you come to a point, consider it the starting line, consider it level set at zero, that you know a change needs to happen and you're just trying to figure out what it is. You're trying to take that first step forward. So while remotivation is a form of that in my mind, it is a little bit of a step back in the sense that when we're motivated and we're doing something and we're moving forward, there come those times where we second guess what we're doing. Where we fall into a rut. Where we get into a funk. And we lose sight of what we're doing.

One can say, "Well, you just need to motivate yourself." Well, yes, that makes sense but at the same time I look at it as you're now starting at step negative two. If you're taking a couple of steps back from the original starting point of motivation, you're having to dig a little deeper to figure out how to get yourself going. It's the holistic journey, not just, "I need to get up today to go achieve today's goal." But it is really moving forward in the holistic journey of what you're trying to do. It's getting out of a funk, it's getting out of your own way, it's coming out of a haze or a fog mentally to get back on track and to get back to what you know you're meant to do but you've lost your way.

You've found yourself off the path and you've found yourself so far off the path that it has gotten you to a point where you're stagnant. Where you're not moving forward. Where nothing is happening. And so how do you get back to that path? How do you get back out of that funk to get back on the right path to move forward with the energy and the drive and the focus that you've had at one time?

I want to share with you three things that I think are critical to removitation when you find yourself off in that haze because I've been there myself. I know what this feeling feels like when ironically both people reached out with the same feeling that they just didn't know where to get back to. They were so far gone in the forest of depression or self ridicule or self demotivation and they really needed to figure out a hard way, a hard left back to the path. Here are three things that I've used in the past that have really worked for me.

Record Your Why

When Simon Sinek talked about “start with why?”, figure out why you're doing things, it is something that I think has been integral to my life and to a lot of people who follow Simon or who have read the book and it is really starting with the concept of why you're doing anything.

Why are you trying to lose weight? Why are you trying to start a new business? Why are you trying to do, fill in the blank. Anything that you do has to have a why. Not just a what. If it's going to have any sort of substance, any sort of meaning, those are the times when you think about the things that you do just on autopilot. Those don't have a true why. They don't have a passionate why. Yes, you may go to the grocery store because you need food and that's why but it's not an intrinsic drive to go. Unless you're like me. I love grocery shopping.

Yes, having a why of why you're trying to chase these big goals or why you're trying to do these big things is critical but recording that why. Whether it's writing it down or even taking it a step further and recording it because if you think about it, when you write down your why, yes you have it in front of you and yes written goals are scientifically proven to become more attainable and more successful.

When you record your why, either audio recording or video recording, there is a level of passion that you can feel in what you're saying versus what you're writing unless you're just a phenomenal writer and you completely can leave it all on the paper or on the screen. But I truly think taking it a step further and recording your why. Hearing your voice, hearing the passion in your voice, hearing the drive, hearing the desire to want to change. And maybe evea little bit of the fear as well should bring out a bravery in you. Should bring out a pride in you to get back to where you are.

It's kind of the signal in the night if you will to bring you back. To call you back to the path. To call you back to the main road of attaining your goal. Don't be afraid to do that. Record it, record it on your phone, record it on your computer, save it and keep it somewhere. Keep a copy of it on your phone so when you're struggling or when something's going wrong you can pull that up and listen to it. It doesn't have to be very long. But it has to be sincere and it has to really dump all of the emotion of why you're doing something into it. Have a why but then also record your why.

Meditation & Prayer

When I think about the span of my life and I think about the times I've been motivated to do things, where I have achieved another level of success or another level of goal attainment there has always been this practice in my daily life. First thing in the morning, last thing at night, a lot of times throughout the day. Maybe it's a minute or two here and there. But this practice has really brought me back to the core of my motivation and the core of my focus and the core of my drive. Because with all of things that impact our minds and our moods and our hearts on a daily basis because there's so much negativity in the world. It's trying to get at us from every angle and the more you're tapped into social media, the more you watch the news, there are constant throws of negativity. There are more negative people I think because they aren't finding their happiness and so they're trying to rain on your parade as well.

And I think when we have that constant influx of negativity, that constant influx of doubt, that starts kind of hanging on us. Like it's some sort of a moss. If you imagine just walking around and you're just getting heavier and heavier and heavier. Now this to me is a daily cleansing. It is the ability to take time to focus on your thoughts, your heart, your feelings and rid yourself of the things that are holding you down. And as that weight gets heavier and heavier that's when you need to institute more times of prayer or mediation throughout the day.

There have been days where I feel like I'm completely under attack with negativity. Just the things that are inputting into my life. And you'll find me taking 10, 15 different breaks of time. And like I said, it may be a minute or two but really having that in my life or having that in my day really hits the reset button and gets me back to scraping away the moss, getting rid of the heavy weight and understanding why those things are trying to impact me. And I've seen it tremendously in the last couple of months. I don't know why. I just feel like there are times in your life where maybe it's when you're closer to your goals and you feel constantly under attack. You feel constantly like something's trying to get in your way. Like there are obstacles coming at you left and right. That prayer, that meditation, that focus on what truly means the world to you will help you draw a fine line between what's important, what's not, what you should allow yourself to feel and think and what is just distraction, and what are mental and emotional and spiritual attacks.

Institute that on a daily basis. Start a few minutes in the morning, a few minutes at night and there will be days you go longer. There are days that I'll meditate for three minutes or five minutes in the morning and there are days where I meditate for 25. Just depends on what's going on. Depends on what I feel I need that day.

Music

Music has literally saved my life. Music is a very important thing to me. Now I know not everybody is impacted by music the way that somebody like myself is but everybody has a propensity to like something. You can hear a song, even if it's not a type of music that you traditionally listen to, but you can hear a song that sparks something in you. Whether the lyrics mean something to you, whether the music, the instrumental means something to you, whether it's the beat that gets you going, there's some sort of a motivation there.

I encourage you, with all the technology and all the availability that we have nowadays to be our own personal DJs, creating an inspirational playlist. Create that playlist of songs. Maybe it's one or two songs. Maybe it's 100 songs. Whatever that is. I have an inspirational playlist on my iPod because my commute in the morning and the commute in the afternoon, sometimes I really need that. Or if I'm working out, I've got a playlist, got multiple playlists for workouts depending on my mood. Depending on what I really truly need that day to stay motivated. And there's just something about flipping on some of those songs that no matter what it is or what's going on, that the songs just get to me. They get to the core of me. Like I feel like I've being rejuvenated from the inside out because those songs have done that for me. What I'll do is I'll share my motivational playlists so you can get an idea of the kinds of songs that really get me going. Maybe it'll spark some inspiration for you.

start today

Those are the three things that I think when you talk about remotivating yourself and getting out of that funk, coming out of a dark haze, coming out of a depressed state and really getting back after your goals. Those are the three things that I've used in the past and that have worked like charms. I highly encourage you to do all three of those things. Establish and record your why, meditate and pray on a daily basis and find inspiration in music. Those three things have pulled me out of more funks, have gotten me more remotivated and have driven me to the point of success in motivation, in momentum in my life that big things have consistently happened.

I want that for you because I know so many people, especially these two people that contacted me yesterday, I want that for them. You can tell in the way they communicated it that they knew that they were in that state and they knew that they needed to get out of it and by reaching out and figuring out what it is that they can do to rejuvenate themselves and to get out of that funk, that is so important. And once you realize that, you have to have the tools to succeed.

Try those things. If there are things that you use to help remotivate yourself, send me a note. I would love to hear what those are, rich@richbracken.com. You can also post a picture on Twitter or Instagram and tag me @richbracken1, but again, I'm going to share my inspirational playlist with you guys. I hope you like it. There's some really great songs on there that get me going and I hope they do with you as well. When you get a chance, please share this blog with everybody that you know because you never know who's going to need a little bit of enrichment and maybe a little bit of remotivation as well.

I hope you guys find your core. I hope you find that path. And I hope you have a wonderful day, a wonderful week, a wonderful month and really really get back into the core of why you are doing what you're doing and find that drive, find that motivation and succeed and keep pushing yourself because you know that you're meant to do this. Have a phenomenal day. Love you guys.


The Top 5 Books That Inspire Me

The Top 5 Books That Inspire Me

As someone who loves to read and learn as much as I can, there are a tremendous amount of books and influencers who have had a hand in shaping my business and leadership style.

However, these 5 books top my list as far as the value of content and lessons that I use every single day. In this video, I'll share my favorite 5 and the lessons that you can learn from each of them.

Thank you to:
Dr. Travis Bradberry 
Simon Sinek 
Dave Ramsey 
Gary Vaynerchuk 
Mel Robbins 

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Get in touch | rich@richbracken.com

The Power of Giving

THE POWER OF GIVING

Giving always feels good, but do you know that there are other benefits to giving? 

In this video, I'll discuss the various physical and mental benefits of giving as well things you can give, other than money, that take just a few minutes and are free. I'll also break into two sections: giving in your personal life and in your professional life.

I'll also provide you with simple tips on how you start a habit of being more giving and empathetic today!

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Get in touch | rich@richbracken.com

Just Get Started | 3 Tips to Start Your New Goal

JUST GET STARTED

My first video blog!

Have you been putting off a goal or new path for a while? Keep talking yourself out of it?

I share 3 lessons with you that I used to get started on some of my favorite accomplishments!

You can subscribe to my new YouTube Channel by clicking here!

What We As Men Can Do About "Me Too"

 
metoo.jpg
 

In light of the recent events that have spurred what is now a gut-wrenching trending post, I find myself in utter disbelief of what's happening.

At record pace on all social media platforms, I'm seeing friends, colleagues, acquaintances and complete strangers flood the networks with #metoo. This response by women to raise their hands as victims of sexual harassment and abuse is just disheartening on so many levels.

I am quick to say that it takes me quite a bit to get riled up about a topic. However, there are certain topics that are instant igniters. Disrespect and abuse, specifically women, children, minorities and animals, simply enrages me. The idea that someone has convinced themselves of some sort of unchallengeable superiority that should result in submission instantly reddens my face and sends my pulse through the roof.

How dare you? How dare you think that your fragile ego, your incompetence of humanity and your inability to respect the minds, hearts and bodies of others, is tolerable? How dare you think that your behavior should be excused, swept up, shrugged off and apologized for without consequence? 

It is in those moments of behavior that you try to rationalize anything, but nothing is acceptable. No condition, situation, outfit, conversation, level of intoxication or power play gives you any right whatsoever to invite yourself to help yourself. That your need to feel important is more valid than the years of pain, torment and self-depreciation that these victims feel.

I applaud the women who have been brave enough to stand up and say "me too." To face the fear of admission that has no doubt haunted them. To come forward, in staggering numbers, and say "this happened to me too." I wish I could look you each in the eye and tell you how proud I am of you. I wish for each one of you the strength and bravery to know that this has been exposed for what it truly is:

A monumental problem.

But no problem is solved without action. No trend is overturned without decision.

So, as a man and as a father of boys, I promise to you all that I will stand up for respect. I will raise my sons to be respectful and to hold their integrity higher than anything. To understand that each and every person has a heart and that it should be treated as a treasure beyond measurable value. I will not be satisfied with myself as a father until I know that my boys understand that. 

More importantly, as a man, I will be a voice and an intervention. I will speak up when conversations turn problematic, an intervention when behavior becomes so as well. I will challenge those that demean or ridicule your value as that level of disrespect is where it starts.

I'm not, by any means, trying to take away from anyone's strength or ability to take care of themselves. However, I firmly believe that if a culture such as this, is to be changed, we all need to do our part emphatically. 

Finally, to the perpetrators of this cowardly, despicable, sociological behavior....

Fuck you. 

And let it echo 100 times for every "Me too" that gets posted or discussed.

Do better....today and forever.

Thank you to Alyssa Milano for starting this conversation. Let it be the beginning of the end of harassment and abuse. 

It is never ok.

My Marathon Mission

26.2 miles through the 5 boroughs of New York. That’s what I’M doing on November 5th, 2017.

Had you told me on November 5th of any previous year that this would be on my calendar, I would have laughed in your face and looked for the drink to take away from you.

I would have called you crazy.

Nevertheless, here I am gearing up for one of the biggest physical challenges of my life. Flight booked, hotel room booked, shoes ordered, training schedule in full effect.

But why? Why am I doing this? It’s often a question I ask myself after a 14 mile training run and my football damaged knees are screaming at me. Why put my body through this and why run the risk of injury not to mention the costs and time associated with travel and participation plus the hours spent training?

One of the main reasons is that I have an opportunity to race with a team to raise money for cancer research; a cause that I am extremely passionate about. Through a serendipitous connection with former tennis pro turned announcer and author, James Blake, I have been helping to raise money for his foundation. (Donation link: richbracken.com/richmarathon)

The biggest reason is one that I’ve not really spoken much about during this process. One that should always be the reason you do anything really and should always be your driving force when taking on a new challenge.

I’m doing it for me.

As a kid, I knew I had the potential to do some great things and I heard the same sentiment from several of my teachers and mentors. “Richard has the potential for impact and leadership,” read a certificate I was given in middle school. That phrase made me proud and terrified me at the same time. You see, I was a painfully insecure kid in those years. Always knowing I was a nice guy but never seeing the same value that others would see in me. Never truly believing in myself while also knowing that there was a genuine passion within me to do great things. The idea of putting myself out there as a leader, or a guider, or an example of anything positive scared the hell out of me because it was just that: putting myself out there.

While no one could come close to ridiculing me like I did myself, I felt the fear of rejection and failure so intensely that I would rather not participate than challenge my own growth. I would forgo the opportunity to build the courageous mental bridge between who I was at the time and who I knew I had the potential to be deep down inside because I was aware of my competitiveness, but my self-doubt blanketed it to the point of suffocation.

I battled physical obstacles as well. As a heavier kid, I spent my time on sports like golf and football. Never a fan of cardio activity, I also battled asthma which took its toll on me, but also gave me a bit of a crutch at times. I admittedly would cut corners or pull up if I felt uncomfortable because I had a fall back. I regret that lost time of improvement more than I could ever say.

Now to look at the concept of running 26.2 miles, in a row, at once is a massive shift for me mentally, emotionally and physically. Running a marathon, in essence, is a perfect scenario for me to destroy any remnant of doubt in myself. It will be several hours, alone in a crowd of 50,000, competing against myself and my previous insecurities.

Throughout my training, I’ve cracked my own walls of doubt and pushed through already. I’ve gotten to a level of pride and confidence in my physical ability that I’ve never had before, simply by not letting myself give up when it gets uncomfortable. I have found a personal euphoria in leaving a trail of stress, doubt and fear on the pavement behind me as my mental focus won’t allow it to remain.

Finally, I want this to serve as motivation to others. That’s the main reason, I feel, that I’m on this earth is to help guide people through doubt as I’ve done myself. I’m running this for you all as well. To show that you can do anything you put your mind to. You can accomplish any goal if you want it bad enough and you’re willing to put in the sacrifice and time to obtain it. Do not let the demons of doubt push you away from what you know you can and are meant to do.

So what started as a fluke response to a Tweet has now become a line in the sand, a monumental opportunity and a challenge that I willingly accept…..

And will accomplish.

 

A Conversation With My Middle School Self

Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations.
— Leo Buscaglia

Leave it to Throwback Thursday, aka #tbt, to get me thinking about middle school.

Yes, that painful 3 years where we should have cocoons for the changes we go through, but there we stand, exposed to the world while we morph physically and mentally.

A time where it seems social pressure and standards are thrown into hyperdrive. Judgement, cliques and paths of association are formed. Gone are the playful days of coloring and recess and here are the days of locker combinations, passing periods and pressure. 

Immense pressure.

Now, for those of you reading this thinking "What? Middle school was easy. None of this was part of it," I envy you in a lot of ways. 

As I was posting a picture for #tbt on Instagram (seen above), I paused and looked at it for a bit. To the eye, you see a 6th grade boy, posing for his youth basketball picture with a hesitant, uncomfortable smirk. Now, to say that I was a bit heavy is stating the obvious. From 3rd grade on, I gradually gained weight and became what you see in the photo and with that weight, especially due to the timing in life, caused an onset of insecurity and depression.

The one thing you want to do during this time is fit in and I just felt that I struggled in doing so. I got caught up in the idea of being popular and quickly realized that that was going to be an uphill battle. This compounded the problem in many ways, causing a downward spiral mentally and emotionally for me.

It's odd to say that in 6th grade, I experienced one of my personal lowest points, but every day was a battle. I had some great friends and I truly appreciate those around me, but inside I always felt like I was the "pity friend." The one that you invited because you felt bad. Now, I'm still friends with a lot of people I went to middle school and high school with who are probably reading this thinking that this concept is absurd. Well, it's also part of the facade of what I had to do those days. 

It was in this picture, in hindsight, that I can see myself carrying the weight of not feeling good enough. Battling everyday to love myself and be happy with my life. Something I would carry for more than a decade after. 

Fast forward about 10 years after this picture and I'm sitting in my counselor's office in Des Moines, talking through the after effects of a horrible relationship where I was subjected to verbal abuse on a daily basis. After uncovering my underlying pain of self imposed inadequacy, my counselor asked me to bring in a picture of myself from my childhood where I can clearly remember pain. This was the picture.

He asked me what I'd say to that child in the picture if I could sit down and talk with him. What words would I share if I could have that movie moment where you travel back in time and sit next to yourself. With tears in my eyes, I struggled to say "You're going to be ok." Struggled because I didn't want to fall apart in his office, not because I didn't feel it. It was in that moment that life turned north for me.

Over time, I've continually seen this picture as a reminder. A reminder not to be so hard on myself. Not to judge or put all of my emotions in one basket. A reminder that that bottom of my emotions is a hell of a long way from where I am now. A reminder to always check in with myself as much as I check in with others. I don't regret one moment of the pain I went through or overcome. It allowed me to focus on my personality, my heart, my sense of humor and my ability to connect with others. Without that pain, without the growth, without having to battle and dispatch the demons of depression, I wouldn't be the man I am today. I thank God every day for the struggle.

While I'm the first to say focus on the future and keep driving towards your goals, it's moments like this that make me realize the emotional benefit of appreciating where you've come from. The phrase "honor yourself," has a ton of meaning for me because of this. 

I've come a long way in life, I've experienced opportunities that some can only dream of, I've connected and touched thousands of lives since that day in Des Moines, and even back to that picture. The one thing that my self doubt created was the emergence of my God given gift of caring for others and being able to connect to them through emotion and energy. It's formed who I've become today as a motivator and leader. It's one of the main things that has kept me alive and has provided my path in life.

So, if you're ever struggling, trying to find that new level of energy where you're at, or just need a jolt of perspective, get out an old picture. Maybe a time that you felt awkward or lonely, It's in that time that you need to realize that you're 100% successful at living your life since then. That you've successfully gotten up every morning and pushed on in life. 

Be proud of who you are, love who you are for all that makes you uniquely you and mostly....

Honor yourself always.

The love you have for yourself will allow you to be the best version of you possible for you and those around you.

What would you say to your middle school self? Comment below!

You Are Already "Perfect"

You Are Already "Perfect"

What if I were to tell you that the endless pursuit of perfection could be simplified by sitting down to make a list? Learn how my own pursuit of perfection created problems and how you can find the happiness that I did years ago.

How to Use the "Unsubscribe" Feature in Your Life

How to Use the "Unsubscribe" Feature in Your Life

Most, if not all of us, have unsubscribed or unfollowed some digital communication (e-mail, social media, etc) but what if you applied that theory to your personal and professional life?

Learn how controlling your "Life Inbox" can bring you immediate happiness, clearer focus on your goals and better relationships.

Participation Award Parents (Video Blog)

Participation Award Parents (Video Blog)

I'm excited to share my first video blog with you based on a recent experience my family had with what I've termed "Participation Award Parents." These are parents who are too tired or too busy to realize that their kids need them. They need their time, attention, love, nurturing and they need to be taught and guided right from wrong. Keeping your children alive isn't enough, we need to do more as parents and we need to support those parents who aren't sure what they're doing.

Please share this with all of your parenting friends and groups so that someone may have the opportunity to stand up and ask for help.

You Can't Have It With Hab-its

You Can't Have It With Hab-its

Each of our lives are a series of choices. Learn how to implement some small adjustments to your daily routine to impact your day, your mood and your path. This inspirational post will give you permission to take care of yourself and motivate you to chase loftier goals.

The 4 Investments You Should Make In Yourself: #3 Sing and/or Dance More

The 4 Investments You Should Make In Yourself: #3 Sing and/or Dance More

The next investment you should make in yourself: your mood changing playlist.

Throughout my life, music has always been a constant. No matter the genre or artists, songs are to me like ingredients are a to a chef. I can blend songs into a playlist that is a dish of mood redirect. 

However, it's not enough just to create this playlist, read about what you must do every day to maximize your investment.