The Poison of Negativity

Between Debbie Downer, Eeyore, and literally every stepmother in a Disney film, negative characters are all around us. The problem is, while these names exist on the screen, there are also villains that walk amongst us. 

We've encountered them before. Critical, envious, hateful, or disparaging, they bring their negativity to your world unannounced and unapologetic. As the Mexican proverb says, "With poison, one drop is enough." However, there are some that coming running with a bucket of it. 

The biggest part of their actions is that they seek out and target others to spread their negative thoughts and feelings. Unfair in result, those of us that try to maintain a positive environment are often blindsided by these individuals. 

Negativity can come in numerous forms including cynicism, hostility, filtering, blaming, or polarized thinking. By not having control over emotions, these actions are brought through conversation (in front of the person or behind their backs), online bullying, abrupt and coarse email exchanges and a variety of other methods. 

Having seen this happen to a number of friends and colleagues as of late, I wanted to put this quick article together to support those who are in the onslaught of this bad behavior.

How to Remain Positive in the Face of Negativity

Don't take it personally

This is easier said than done in most cases because we are social animals by nature and we want people to like and approve of us deep down. There is a high likelihood that the person treating you poorly is going through their own struggles and coping in a very poor way. Their attacks are usually born out of their own frustrations, fears, or insecurities. Remind yourself that their outburst is due to these conditions, not because of you.

Focus on the positive

We are hardwired to focus on negative bias in our lives. This means we can go through a day filled with compliments, but if one negative thing happens, we are prone to focus the description and value of our day based on that one instance. Train your mind to focus on the positive by creating a gratitude list and focus on three things on that list whenever something, or someone, tries to impact you negatively.

Separate and/or meditate

If you were in a burning room, would you stand there hoping the flames would magically go out? Of course not, you would remove yourself from the room as quickly as possible. The same goes when our moods or mentality start to heat up. By removing yourself from the immediate proximity once the occurrence happens, you give yourself the opportunity to reset. Also, meditation will help calm your mind, give you clarity, and develop your mindfulness in these situations. 

Strengthening the mind

Like exercising our muscles through consistent practice, we can also strengthen our minds in situations like these. The more focused and intentional you are on self-care in negative situations, the more you are prone to bounce back quicker and recover your energy faster through mental strength.

How to Become Less Negative

Now, if you are someone who has been dealing out the negativity, I beg you to stop and take a breath. I'm sorry that you're going through rough times personally, professionally, or financially. The stress we've all been dealing with over the last few years has hit a fever pitch. By exhibiting hateful, aggressive behavior, you not only create an image of being a bully, being untrustworthy, or hot-tempered, but you also run the risk of serious health problems such as depression, chest pain, high anxiety, and social withdrawal.

Here are a couple of ways you can change your tune:

Focus on reality

Most negativity takes form when we are creating scenarios in our minds of worst case scenarios. The moment that starts happening, switch gears on what "could be" with some effort and change.

Control your internal dialogue

The negative internal voice will often have you focus on the past mistakes you've made or the "what could go wrong" fork in the road of the future. Battle back against these thoughts with 2-3 positive affirmations. Mentally strong people practice this to quiet the internal negative creep.

Turn negative fuel into positive action

You're going to think negatively at some point in the day, maybe several times in a day. Use it to your advantage. Instead of hating the success you perceive someone else having, use that energy to either engage in self-development or reach out to someone for feedback on how you could be better. Dragging others down will do you no good in the long run.

Rich Bracken is an energetic keynote speaker and marketing executive who blends data and research with emotion and case studies to share insights and strategies on how to implement sustainable positive change. His focus and passion is to help individuals and organizations perform at a higher level both personally and professionally. He has served numerous Fortune 100 clients and global organizations as a keynote speaker and consultant and is a Professor of Leadership and notable media personality appearing in such outlets as ABC, ESPN, Thrive Global, Vice, and Goalcast and this spring he will be presenting on the TEDx stage.

To inquire about Rich's speaking availability for your next event or conference, contact him at rich@richbracken.com