You Are Already "Perfect"
“There would be no need for love if perfection were possible. Love arises from our imperfection, from our being different and always in need of the forgiveness, encouragement and that missing half of ourselves that we are searching for, as the Greek myth tells us, in order to complete ourselves.” - Eugene Kennedy
When I think of the word "perfection," I immediately think of a moving target. Something that looks attainable but the moment you make momentum towards it, it moves at the last second.
Never attainable, always shifting.
I also think of people I've met or encountered in life. Those that pursue "perfection" through things or image or looks because of what society says, the media dictates or what they see in their next door neighbor or friend on Instagram. Now, more than ever, we have too many images and channels feeding us what "perfect" is.
What is perfect?
By definition: having all the required or desirable elements, qualities or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.
The trap in this definition is that it doesn't define the subjective "who." Who sets the required and desirable elements? As good as it is possible to be to who?
It's in that omission that I have seen so many people, including myself, fall victim to the eternal treadmill run of chasing "perfect."
For years, I chased what I thought was perfect. The perfect amount of money, the perfect car, the perfect body, etc. It was exhausting because I was relying on the definition of perfect to be decided by others, not myself. It wasn't until years later that it hit me like a ton of bricks that while I esthetically looked like I had it all together, it was at a time of my worst self-esteem. I was constantly seeking the approval of others, constantly letting that determine my satisfaction with myself and just when I thought I had it all, something or someone made me think that it wasn't enough and off I went on another exhausting chase of perfect.
Not until I became happy with myself did the word "perfect" ever really make sense. Not until I quit letting others determine my self-worth did I even truly feel what a perfect moment felt like.
We live in an intense time of comparison with the influx of media and social media. A constant replacement of a new image of perfect. But let me stop you for a second before you go down a list of people you follow on social media that you deem "perfect."
There are currently 400 million people on Instagram alone. Would you rather chase 400 million definitions of perfect or just 1?
What I mean by this is that you alone can determine your subjective perfection; your personal happiness (which I LOVE as a replacement for the word "perfect"). You have been created individually. You have a very unique physical, mental and emotional makeup that is unique to you.
You......are perfect.
You are perfect with the music you like, the clothes you wear, the books you read, the stuff you know/don't know, the way you like to be kissed, the food you eat and so on and so forth. If unique wasn't perfect, then Baskin Robins would've never been created: we'd never have anything but vanilla ice cream.
On the flip side, you are created to be unique to be loved for who you are. If you are constantly chasing another image of perfect and posing to be that person or that image, how can we all appreciate you for who you are?
We sometimes encounter people who are "fake" in behavior, communication or appearance. It's those people who haven't found true satisfaction in who they are as a person. I'm not saying you shouldn't work hard to get in shape or something along those lines, but stop before you start and understand who you're doing it for. Are you only working out and trying to get a "perfect" body so that someone will love you or are you just simply wanting to be healthy and fit for yourself?
I love the quote that I chose as an intro. I love it because think about a world where we're all the same: We all look identical, talk the same, eat the same, listen to the same song and wear the same close.
Creepy as hell, huh?
Start to discover what makes you unique and beautiful. It's in that moment that you'll also be able to fully appreciate the differences you have with others. (I'll save some side rhetoric here for another day)
I challenge you to stop your pursuit of what others show and think are perfect. Sit down and make a list of things that truly make you happy, no matter how nerdy or weird they may be. No matter how outcast you'd be amongst your current group of "friends" or how shocking it would be to your partner. Create your own personal list of happiness and compare it to your current behavior and surroundings.
What makes you the best you to you? What
It's in that moment that you'll figure out that the unique you, the beautiful person you are and the personal interests you have can make everyday "perfect."
