You're Not Really "Fine" After All
Words are worth their weight in silver.
Didn't sound right did it?
That's because when we get comfortable with certain words and descriptors, they become second nature to use without any thought. We do this way too often when we describe our emotions which actually limits our ability to understand ourselves, communicate effectively, and enhance our emotional intelligence.
It's the rule of "fine" (see also "good" "ok").
We default to these words all too often in passing conversations or when we are protecting ourselves in a time of struggle which is why I have become an unapologetic user of Thesaurus.com. I too have fallen victim to the default answer with mine having been "amazing" for a long time when, at times, I couldn't have been farther from that descriptor.
So, as the holiday season nears, I want to give you the gift of emotional freedom by encouraging you to use a couple of simple tricks when thinking about and communicating your emotions.
Scrap Your Comfort Words
By leaving behind your typical responses and choosing something new, subjective to the actual emotion you're feeling, you make a more conscious decision to acknowledge how you truly feel. As mentioned earlier, by defaulting to "good" "fine" or even "amazing" we are not embracing how we truly feel. I have truly gone to Thesaurus.com and searched my generic emotional word when I feel it to find something more accurate and descriptive. Give it a try and you'll have your eyes opened to more internal emotional connection.
Stop Hiding
And for those who immediately think, "Well, I don't want to burden someone else if something is not going perfectly for me," then I want you to immediately put the shoe on the other foot. If your friend, partner, co-worker were in need, wouldn't you want to know? I'm not saying that the next time the person helping you check out at Target says "How are you?" that you should emotionally dump on them, but be open to sharing your true emotions with those you trust and engage with on a regular basis.
The Rule of 3
Yes, life is always moving at a rapid pace so the idea of adding something else to your to-do list sounds overwhelming right? However, if that new to-do could bring you more clarity with yourself in a matter of seconds, would you do it? If that activity could bring you more resilience, success, and happiness, would you give it a try?
Yes? Great!
The next time you start to acknowledge your emotions, don't stop at one word. By adding two more descriptive words, you expand your self-awareness of your emotions which could potentially lead to a self-discovery moment.
Last night during a long (and much needed) meditation, I explored this and I felt a weight being lifted by just acknowledging all of my thoughts/emotions. It wasn't just "overwhelmed," it was also "nervous" "curious" "impatient" "hopeful." This expansion of terms lead me to an a-ha moment where I said to myself, "Ok, what can YOU control in all of this?"
By diving a bit deeper, the dots connected and a massive weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
We truly need to be more comfortable with expressing our emotions, sharing our vulnerabilities, and seeking a stronger self-awareness so that we can stay the course when things get difficult. In going this route, you allow yourself to be internally stronger and more likely to bounce back stronger in times of need.
For more information on my keynote presentations, videos, blogs, podcasts, and more, visit richbracken.com. I would be thrilled to entertain and educate your company or audience at your next event to raise their emotional intelligence, happiness, and success.
