The EQ DJ - Sia’s “Elastic Heart” & Contentious Conversations

Have you ever found yourself caught flat-footed in a conversation whether by confrontation or a curveball?

It's that decision crossroad of reacting or redirecting, confrontation or calm, being the thermometer or the thermostat.

It's in those moments that we must remember that we're in control of who we are in that moment, how we show up, and how we react.

But it's easier said than done in certain situations. The person delivering the pivot point may be a supervisor, someone you trust, or you may be blindsided by the interaction.

I can speak from experience, those moments can sting and they can get the best of us.

It's in that split second decision that you can step into your strength, your identity and how you want the conversation to go, or, you can fall into the trap of giving up position in the conversation and sacrificing your personal brand.

Enter Sia's "Elastic Heart" as your EQ DJ Song of the Week.

A song that shares strength, vulnerability, and a self-awareness of boundaries, the line "I've got thick skin and an elastic heart" has always struck me.

Thick skin enough to withstand the toughest of situations or comments and a heart elastic enough to endure shifts, not breakable by any means.

So, how do we create this strength in the moment:
1. Breathe - Whenever faced with a situation or conversation that raises your blood pressure and anxiety, a calm breath slams the brakes on the road to losing your cool.

2. Inquire - Ask a follow-up question. "Can you tell me more about this situation?" "Can you let me know what led to this?" "Can you walk me through how you came to this conclusion?" can buy you a few seconds or minutes, allowing you to gather your thoughts and reset the temperature.

3. Solve - Do this in two ways. First, tell them that you want to find a way forward together, that you can come to some direction or understanding. Second, ask them what their ideal solution looks like while also explaining that you'll do your best to get there. This allows you to be flexible based on their response.

4. Resolve - Once you come to an agreement, recap the discussion, agreed points, and solution steps moving forward. This also shows your increase in active listening (social awareness) and engaging the other individual in a team-like mentality (relationship management).

More to come in this new series where I blend emotional intelligence lessons with a specific song to remember it with.

If you've got a personal or professional improvement you'd like to make, please email me and I'll build a strategy around it and provide a solution soundtrack for it. 🪩